Vonage and the Secret

I finally took the time today to cancel my Vonage home phone. I've had it since I lived in KY and it was actually really helpful there….except the few times when my cable went out. Aside from a few hiccups, all around good deal.

I kept it when I moved here just to see how much I'd use it. But I use my cell more than anything and the home cable goes out every other day…just for funzies. (Rant on Time Warner is long overdue)

So I called to cancel Vonage today. No hard feelings, just didn't need it. I made the mistake of choosing the menu option "Billing, Account Services, and Customer Care." After being on hold for about 5 minutes (not bad) I spoke to a very friendly woman who explained she'd have to transfer me to a different account services to cancel an account and was that ok? Um…do I really have a choice?

She transferred me and after about 20 minutes I started picturing what was really going on at their office. Canceling services goes in to a whole different holding queue. I picture it a little as a party I'm not invited to where everyone is having fun at my expense. When I admitted the reason for my call, the woman places me on hold, announces to the floor that we have "another one" and everyone bursts into laughter, pointing at the phone. She puts me on hold for a while, goes to lunch (not before checking that the hold music is the appropriate level of annoying), and comes back to see if I've given up and hung up. Since I'm holding strong and still there, she keeps me on hold while she catches up on all the gossip, who's sleeping with who, can you believe she's wearing that?, and how she should be floor supervisor not her idiot boss. She checks again.

MB is still there. Still wants to cancel the account.

So she finally grabs the janitor to take over from here. I get the guy who has been in the country for all of 5 minutes to help me through this process. Am I sure I want to cancel? What if they reduce my rate to $4.99? (which pissed me off more that it hasn't been an option until now)

After repeatedly telling "Steve" that I'd like to just cancel my service, he finally gives in and starts the warnings. Once we cancel you can't come back to this number. Are you suuuuure you want to do that? I mean, when this is done it's DONE.

Confident that my decision wouldn't cause the end of the world, I thanked "Steve" for canceling my service.

I'm going to check my account tomorrow. Pretty sure lost in the translation somewhere instead of closing my account, I opened 3 more phone lines.