Go crazy? Dont mind if I do!

After tonight, I've accepted that I've gone absolutely, positively bonkers.

I've been either out of town or busy every weekend since April/May. Anyone who knows me well, knows that MB needs time by herself for quiet downtime and sleep otherwise evil MB comes out to play (and it ain't pretty) I don't get much sleep during the week, and I haven't had my weekends to catch up on sleep/downtime. So you'd think that I wouldn't volunteer to shave off any more weekday/weeknight free time.

(this is where the retardedness comes in)

I volunteered to help with inventory at our local stores. Inventory is painful, time consuming, and leaves you with a nervous tick from all the scanner gun beeping.

So bright and friggin early this morning I arrived and my buddy Robb's store. We counted inventory until about 12:30.

I took a 15 min lunch (some shopping then the drive thru) and headed back to the office to do 8-10 hours of my real job in only 4 hours. Everything that could go wrong with my work, went wrong and is completely out of my control. (but it doesn't stop the 487 questions from the groups I support...why isn't this working? what happened to ____, did you know that this isn't working?)

I left the office and fought rush hour traffic to meet my girls for dinner and catch up.

I left dinner and rushed to another store for their inventory. I just got home. It's 2:00am.

(You see where I'm retarded?)

I bet my boss still expects me in at 8ish tomorrow. Psshttt. No friggin way.

Oh who am I kidding. I'll suck down 2 pots of coffee and I'll make it to work by 9 at the latest.

This weekend – MB is hanging out with her girls and laying low. Lots of sleep, lots of downtime.

This is why I loved HR

My friends in HR had the same sick humor as me. I probably would have even posted this in my store just to scare my employees. ;)

_________________________________________________

Effective January 2007

Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.


Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.


Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy..


Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.


-Management

The weary travelers have returned

I'm back. I'm alive. A little crispy, but not too bad. We had a blast, and now I'm very tired.

I'll post pictures probably tomorrow.

I need to go burn my suitcase - it's so gross it's not worth saving or washing the clothes inside.

Mazatlan, here we come!

Tomorrow morning - Stephanie, Darrah, and I are being picked up by a driver to take us to the airport while we drink mimosas. Then we're off to hop on a plane for the beaches of Mazatlan!

I'm so excited! I haven't had a girls vacation in such a long time.

Have a great weekend! I promise lots of stories when I return.

Love y'all!

Vonage and the Secret

I finally took the time today to cancel my Vonage home phone. I've had it since I lived in KY and it was actually really helpful there….except the few times when my cable went out. Aside from a few hiccups, all around good deal.

I kept it when I moved here just to see how much I'd use it. But I use my cell more than anything and the home cable goes out every other day…just for funzies. (Rant on Time Warner is long overdue)

So I called to cancel Vonage today. No hard feelings, just didn't need it. I made the mistake of choosing the menu option "Billing, Account Services, and Customer Care." After being on hold for about 5 minutes (not bad) I spoke to a very friendly woman who explained she'd have to transfer me to a different account services to cancel an account and was that ok? Um…do I really have a choice?

She transferred me and after about 20 minutes I started picturing what was really going on at their office. Canceling services goes in to a whole different holding queue. I picture it a little as a party I'm not invited to where everyone is having fun at my expense. When I admitted the reason for my call, the woman places me on hold, announces to the floor that we have "another one" and everyone bursts into laughter, pointing at the phone. She puts me on hold for a while, goes to lunch (not before checking that the hold music is the appropriate level of annoying), and comes back to see if I've given up and hung up. Since I'm holding strong and still there, she keeps me on hold while she catches up on all the gossip, who's sleeping with who, can you believe she's wearing that?, and how she should be floor supervisor not her idiot boss. She checks again.

MB is still there. Still wants to cancel the account.

So she finally grabs the janitor to take over from here. I get the guy who has been in the country for all of 5 minutes to help me through this process. Am I sure I want to cancel? What if they reduce my rate to $4.99? (which pissed me off more that it hasn't been an option until now)

After repeatedly telling "Steve" that I'd like to just cancel my service, he finally gives in and starts the warnings. Once we cancel you can't come back to this number. Are you suuuuure you want to do that? I mean, when this is done it's DONE.

Confident that my decision wouldn't cause the end of the world, I thanked "Steve" for canceling my service.

I'm going to check my account tomorrow. Pretty sure lost in the translation somewhere instead of closing my account, I opened 3 more phone lines.

Checking in on my 2007 Goals

Some of y'all might remember that on Jan. 1, I posted my 2007 goals (not resolutions). I hate resolutions because the are cliche and like 98% of the population, I break resolutions but I keep goals. So it's a little late, but here's my mid year check in.


2007 Goals (not resolutions!):


1. Make lifestyle changes, including but not limited to:

-active lifestyle

-move church membership to a church in town


2. Pay off big portion of debt


3. Start savings for a house


Mid Year Check-Up:


1. I have made progress with lifestyle changes, but I'm not where I want to be yet.

I definitely have more of an active lifestyle. I work out, I've lost weight, and I've been making an effort to find more to do in Dallas than just go out for drinks or dinner. But I'd like to play volleyball again. I played in a bar league in Kentucky and I miss it! We haven't been dancing in a while, even though we talk about it every weekend.

I have not found a home church. I've been going with my folks when I'm in town, but it's not a church I want to join. My membership is still officially in Kentucky.

2. I have paid off credit cards and a few other debts. I have started to make a dent in my student loans and the 1 remaining credit card.

Also, I haven't put myself further in to debt. I'm getting smarter with my money, I actually started using Quicken, and I don't shop nearly as much. It helps being out of the mall. Working in a store was just too tempting!

3. I'm not on my way to saving for a house, but I've been able to save money for more important things than a trip to the mall or drinks out with friends. I took a trip to visit my sister, Stephanie and I are going to Mexico in a week, I've had some quick weekend trips to Houston and Austin, and I'm going to Boston for Thanksgiving.

All in all, I'd say I'm doing pretty well this year!

I hate politics

I hate politics. So much so that I avoid TV at all costs during election seasons. But I can't seem to avoid them this year.

From March - June, North Texans were pounded with campaign propaganda for Dallas mayor. Mayor? Since when was that a position that required countless fundraisers, smear campaigns, invading our St. Patty's parade, billboards, and back to back commercials?

I've been trying to avoid coverage of the democratic race on TV. But this morning Good Morning America aired a story that pissed me off to a new level. They were praising Barack Obama for passing Hillary's fundraising totals for this Quarter. See the break out below:

Barack Obama $31 mil

Hillary Clinton $21 mil

John Edwards $9 mil



So let me get this straight - they've raised MILLIONS just so they can run a campaign to try to convince me to vote for them? Yet we have people that don't have a roof over their head, food on their table, and a high school education - and we're excited about the campaign funds reaching an all time high?

It's a good thing it's all about the platform and the people.

True, may have it pretty good compared to other countries. But it still makes me crazy knowing that they're spending millions so I'll be hearing more of this for another year and others go without basic needs.


http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Story?id=3336526&page=1