Love like the movies

There are a lot of things in life that give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Lazy, rainy days, watching a sappy movie in bed is one of my all time favorites. There’s nothing like the rain on the window, my freakishly chilly apartment, piles of pillows and covers, while watching someone else live out a great love story.

You know the type of movie I’m talking about. When they spot each other from across the room, instantly fall in love, music plays, and the scene closes on a classic lip lock.

Surely I’m not the only woman who has been looking for a romance like the movies. Where reason melts away with a kiss and he whisks her off to a perfect life together.

What the movies never show you are the moments after the big kiss.

Gasp!

I’ve discovered I have an unrealistic image of true love. That’s right folks…hard to believe that someone so in tune with her emotions (ha!) may not quite know how to fall in love…and stay there.

The great romantic movies don’t dare ruin the film by showing the first fight, the awkward transition from single life to coupledom/marriage, lost friends along the way, and the first time she comes home from a shopping spree.

And that is exactly why I love those movies! Carefree, easy, lighthearted, and effortless.

But I have to remember that great REAL loves like my parents didn’t get to 35+ years of marriage by a single big kiss. They make it look easy, but have been working on an epic movie that has had its twists and turns, heartaches and heart attacks, laughs and tears, deaths and new life.

As I am beginning a love story of my own, I hope I can take queues from my parents.

Celebrating my late 20s

My mom has been teasing me since I turned 25 that I was in my late 20s. I refused to admit that, had a mid-twenties crisis, quit the corporate world, moved to California, and took a job in a retail store.

Totally rational as always.

But on Oct. 18 I will finally be forced to admit that I'm in my late 20s....mostly because I can't get much later than 29. Whatever.

So to give my late 20s a proper kick off, we're hitting the town. I have given all control over to Stephanie, party planner extraordinaire. If you can join us for dinner, let me know and I'll send you the details. If you want to just meet us out, hang tight while we make arrangements.

Eh, Screw Forgiveness

In early August I wrote about forgiveness. I absolutely meant it. We are only human and we all make mistakes. However, some are more devastating than others.

Which brings me to the blog title.

Without revealing names, a person very close to me found out that her husband had an affair earlier this year. After a series of events, including forgiveness, lies, a continued affair, separation, emotional roller coaster, the husband (whom I now affectionately call "F*ckhead") has chosen the homewrecker. Now my friend has signed a lease for an apartment a thousand miles away from him.

Divorce is a reality for today. But what about tomorrow?

She's a fabulous woman – smart, beautiful, patient, and loving. She'll find a new life for herself that will soar above the years she spent with F*ckhead. But they aren't in this alone. They have a child together.

I had friends growing up that split time with their parents. It seemed to work, but they were typically in the same state at least. It seems so foreign to me that their little child is going to grow up this way. Not to mention the slim chance F*ckhead and Homewrecker will actually last. So how's that for a male role model.

The only thing that helps me see the silver lining on this is that my friend will come out of this better than he will. She has a support system that will help her cope through the ugliness of this situation. She has her family, her friends, her friends' friends, etc. What does he have?

So this is me officially removing the window of opportunity for F*ckhead to ask for forgiveness. If he doesn't want it, we'll do just fine without him in our lives.

American Heart Association

Hi friends,

Please take a moment to read the scripted information I should be e-mailing out, then click on the link below to visit my personal donation page

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Everyone knows someone affected by heart disease or stroke. For those I love, I will be walking in this year’s Start! Heart Walk. I have set a personal goal to raise funds for the American Heart Association and need your help to reach my donation goal. We are raising critical dollars for heart disease and stroke research and education.

You can help me reach my goal by making a donation online. Click on the link below and you will be taken to my personal donation page where you can make a secure online credit card donation. The American Heart Association's online fundraising website has a minimum donation amount of $25.00. If you prefer to donate less, you can do so by sending a check directly to me.

Your donation will help fight our nation’s No. 1 and No. 3 killers—heart disease and stroke. You are making a difference. Thank you for your support.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support American Heart Association - Dallas, TX

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Some email systems do not support the use of links and therefore this link may not appear to work. If so, copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://heartwalk.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=256369&u=256369-229540549&e=1851799990
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When did I become “technologically challenged?”

In some respects I am my mother’s daughter. I’m creative, get easily distracted by shiny things, get annoyed with convoluted instructions, and think that anything in the color red goes faster (cars, shoes, etc).

In other areas, I am my father’s daughter. I like electronics, I’m a natural with computers, I have wires strewn throughout my room connecting one electronic device to the next, and I like new and shiny toys.

So imagine my surprise when I bought a shiny new toy (Blackberry Pearl) and had absolutely no interest in trying to set it up. I guess I attribute some of the lack of interest to the time of purchase - I had just moved, I lost my other phone so I was annoyed I had to buy this one to begin with, dad was recovering from surgery, my life was chaotic in general and setting up a phone was the last thing I had on my mind. But I also attribute it to my boyfriend-at-the-time’s phone envy. He had the older model and tech savvy, so took special interest in setting my newer phone up. I didn’t touch it. I think I made 2 decisions – which was perfect. If it had been left up to me the phone would still be in the box and I would be using an old loaner. But now I barely know how to use it…and I don’t have any real interest in figuring it out. So unlike me!

I received an AT&T Blackjack from my new company. I got to pick the color so it’s shiny and red (so it goes faster) …but I have no idea how to use it. I received it midday at work so I’ve been trying to discretely tutor myself on the simple things like “volume.” I failed miserably – I pushed something and it rang at the highest volume with the most obnoxious ring. Awesome. Also, it has a full keypad which makes my head hurt after just getting used to the Pearl’s partial key pad. My test message to my dad took me about 5 minutes to type…and it just said “test.”

Oh sure, 5th graders nowadays know how to put together and take apart a computer. But I at least refuse to become one of those women who can’t figure out appliances and basic electronics. I won’t be a statistic!

So my homework this evening is to study my Blackjack User Manual and Online Tutorial. Should I be concerned it also comes with a Heath and Safety Information pamphlet? Is that for others when I get frustrated and launch my phone across the room?

Forgiveness

The Bible teaches us about forgiveness, parents and teachers often share stories about the power of forgiveness, therapists will tell patients to release the burden of anger or shame and forgive.

I can forgive all day long for those who have hurt me. Afterall, I’m human and I make mistakes too. I know I’ve hurt people in the past and I hope they have forgiven me.

But what happens when you are faced with a situation that seems unforgiveable. Something so damaging that relationships are permanently severed, hearts are broken, and trust is called into question.

God would say to forgive as it is not our place to judge. We are all sinners. Turn the other cheek.

Is it ok to forgive the person but not the action? I don’t know if I can separate the two.

It’s easier to forgive when the person takes responsibility for their actions and ASKS for forgiveness…but when they don’t?

So this is my cry for help – please pray for me that I will one day be able to forgive. I will never forget, but I hope one day I will be able to forgive.

Outsourcing Romance

I’ve been a supporter for online dating services for many years now. As a busy single, I want to meet Mr. Right, but when? Interoffice dating is out, and since most of my time is spent at work online dating often seems like a great alternative to bar hopping on the weekends. (nothing says love like shots of tequila and a cab ride to his/her place) I’ve met some great guys and though it hasn’t worked out, I’d recommend it for anyone just trying to get out there.

Though I don’t have an interest in getting back online anytime soon, I had to pause when a friend suggested I check this out – It’s Just Lunch. Curious, I went to their website:

“Welcome to It's Just Lunch Dallas, we are a specialized dating service for busy professionals….Our first date experts minimize stress and maximize efficiency by working with your busy schedule to coordinate Lunch, Brunch or Drinks after work as a fun way to meet some of the incredible single professionals living in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Plus we do all the work! We will tell you about your match, coordinate your schedules and make your reservations at a restaurant in Dallas/Ft. Worth that is convenient for both of you. With one phone call and a confidential face-to-face interview in our office, you're on your way to a fun, exciting and productive way to meet quality matches. All you have to do is relax and have FUN!!”

Just because I’m online doesn’t mean I have lost the appreciation for romance, personal connection, and chemistry. Sure I joke with friends and future ex-boyfriends that I’m dead inside, void of all human emotion, etc. And that is mostly true for people I’m not close to, it’s not true for friends and family.

I’d like to think those closest to me know that I get giggly about meeting a new guy, first date jitters, the first kiss, etc. But part of that giggliness is the anticipation after all the work trying to find this new guy. Isn’t part of the pay off of meeting your partner the victory after the hunt? To outsource the screening process seems so disconnected. Where are all the stories? I have countless stories to share with friends about bad dates, online matches that are terrible, creepy guys at bars, and other failed attempts at meeting Mr. Right.

Companies hire third party recruiters to find people for jobs they can’t fill – “Web Designer - Open since April.”

Isn’t it weird to hire a recruiter to fill the latest opening – “MB’s boyfriend - Vacant since July.”