Note to self: Your skin is a lovely shade of pale white. Translucent even.
Spending 5 hours in the sun with 15spf isn't going to protect you from one of the worst sunburns of your life.
I hurt.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
I got stood up
I had a fabulous Memorial Day weekend that was full of friends, family, drinks, and lots of food. Since I splurged so much over the weekend, I've been tired and feeling disgusted with myself all week. So I was really looking forward to my session with my personal trainer today.
Today, I was going to be a trooper. I vowed that this time I was not going to whine, beg for mercy, or complain on the 85th set of lunges that my legs are tired. I was even prepared to run.
Anyone who knows me knows I only run if:
1. I'm running from something or,
2. I'm running toward food
I was going to walk in to the torture chamber Cory likes to call "The Gym" and take it like a champ.
But he never showed. Have I really scared him off? I wonder if he finally lost all hope that I'll ever be in shape. He's been working with me for 6 months now and I still won't run a mile without bringing the portable defibrillator "just in case."
(To be fair, last time we went running, we got lost and ended up about 3 miles away from the car.)
But I think my time with Cory may have ended at a good time. I was going to break up with him anyway so I can save more money. But I didn't even get to say goodbye.
So thank you Cory! We had some good times...
....or you had some good times laughing at me while I threatened to cry in the middle of the weight room if you made me do one more set....
...Whatever.
Today, I was going to be a trooper. I vowed that this time I was not going to whine, beg for mercy, or complain on the 85th set of lunges that my legs are tired. I was even prepared to run.
Anyone who knows me knows I only run if:
1. I'm running from something or,
2. I'm running toward food
I was going to walk in to the torture chamber Cory likes to call "The Gym" and take it like a champ.
But he never showed. Have I really scared him off? I wonder if he finally lost all hope that I'll ever be in shape. He's been working with me for 6 months now and I still won't run a mile without bringing the portable defibrillator "just in case."
(To be fair, last time we went running, we got lost and ended up about 3 miles away from the car.)
But I think my time with Cory may have ended at a good time. I was going to break up with him anyway so I can save more money. But I didn't even get to say goodbye.
So thank you Cory! We had some good times...
....or you had some good times laughing at me while I threatened to cry in the middle of the weight room if you made me do one more set....
...Whatever.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
College Station again?
I'm coming back to College Station! Why you ask?
Because I'm a complete moron.
Ah yes, despite my better judgement, I've volunteered to help a new store manager survive inventory.
If you've never been through inventory with a retail store before, it's a little bit like shoving a pencil in your ear while being forced to watch the latest Jamie Kennedy movie.
But the good news is that I might get to see old friends again. I'm coming down Friday, June 22. I'll be working all day Saturday and friggin early & late Sunday, then possibly Monday. I should have a few hours break during the day on Sunday.
Unfortunately for Northgate and the Tap, this visit can't be as wild as Bucky's graduation weekend…but it's a visit nonetheless.
If you'll be in town let me know.
Because I'm a complete moron.
Ah yes, despite my better judgement, I've volunteered to help a new store manager survive inventory.
If you've never been through inventory with a retail store before, it's a little bit like shoving a pencil in your ear while being forced to watch the latest Jamie Kennedy movie.
But the good news is that I might get to see old friends again. I'm coming down Friday, June 22. I'll be working all day Saturday and friggin early & late Sunday, then possibly Monday. I should have a few hours break during the day on Sunday.
Unfortunately for Northgate and the Tap, this visit can't be as wild as Bucky's graduation weekend…but it's a visit nonetheless.
If you'll be in town let me know.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Matthew 6:24 & 34
This Sunday's sermon focused on a few passages about temptation. What distracts us from God, what is meaningless to take your attention away, and what should we continue to put our trust in God.
Matthew 6:24 & 34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?.......Therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
This came at an interesting time. My cousin and I were just talking about career choices – with all things mostly equal, when does money tip the decision scales?
We put so much weight into our careers and let that define us. How much money we make, what our title is, what kind of car we can drive, how many toys we have, etc.
It would be so nice to be able to shed the stuff and the desire for stuff. But there have always been temptations that didn't include boob jobs, IPods, and BMWs.
I guess the best we can do is to pursue a life that makes us happy, but does not distract us from what's truly important. Family, friends, and faith.
Matthew 6:24 & 34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?.......Therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
This came at an interesting time. My cousin and I were just talking about career choices – with all things mostly equal, when does money tip the decision scales?
We put so much weight into our careers and let that define us. How much money we make, what our title is, what kind of car we can drive, how many toys we have, etc.
It would be so nice to be able to shed the stuff and the desire for stuff. But there have always been temptations that didn't include boob jobs, IPods, and BMWs.
I guess the best we can do is to pursue a life that makes us happy, but does not distract us from what's truly important. Family, friends, and faith.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Ah yes, and then there's the...
Let me begin with stating - I love my mother. I am my mother 30 years behind.
But at what point to women sneak off to a training class, read pamphlets, or listen to books on tape, "How to make your daughter want to slit her wrists while keeping a smile on your face."
My mom and I were just talking about how I've lost weight (actually I believe she used the words "finally lost weight") after all the gym time and pain I've put in. In the same breath as giving me a compliment, asking if boys have noticed, are you dating anyone?, what about that nice boy so-and-so?, ....
Then she hit me with a knowing tone and asked "Is it the dark hair? What is the reaction of boys to the black hair? You used to have boys fall over themselves when you were blond."
That's how it goes with mothers. Compliment. Compliment. Compliment. Aaaaaand below the belt.
Pretend for a moment I'm Madden:
Let's see just what went wrong here. First she came in with the semi-compliment about "FINALLY" losing weight. But MB side stepped that one and kept moving forward. Then attacked from the side, MB is hit from both sides with the "single" comment AND the "hair" comment. Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. You just hate to see that happen.
(A little history - my hair was blond for about 24 years of my life. After a few "interesting" attempts at other colors I've always gone back to blond. But I have no intention of doing that again.)
So, let's just say -
Yes, I've lost weight. And yes, it's taken painful hours with a trainer and a treadmill. But I feel great and I'm healthy. That's all I care about.
Yes, my hair is black/brown. And no, I have no intention of going back to bottle blond like everyone else in Dallas. (no offense to my fabulously bottle blond friends)
I'm comfortable with me and I'm looking forward to the day when I can torment my own daughter.
But at what point to women sneak off to a training class, read pamphlets, or listen to books on tape, "How to make your daughter want to slit her wrists while keeping a smile on your face."
My mom and I were just talking about how I've lost weight (actually I believe she used the words "finally lost weight") after all the gym time and pain I've put in. In the same breath as giving me a compliment, asking if boys have noticed, are you dating anyone?, what about that nice boy so-and-so?, ....
Then she hit me with a knowing tone and asked "Is it the dark hair? What is the reaction of boys to the black hair? You used to have boys fall over themselves when you were blond."
That's how it goes with mothers. Compliment. Compliment. Compliment. Aaaaaand below the belt.
Pretend for a moment I'm Madden:
Let's see just what went wrong here. First she came in with the semi-compliment about "FINALLY" losing weight. But MB side stepped that one and kept moving forward. Then attacked from the side, MB is hit from both sides with the "single" comment AND the "hair" comment. Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. You just hate to see that happen.
(A little history - my hair was blond for about 24 years of my life. After a few "interesting" attempts at other colors I've always gone back to blond. But I have no intention of doing that again.)
So, let's just say -
Yes, I've lost weight. And yes, it's taken painful hours with a trainer and a treadmill. But I feel great and I'm healthy. That's all I care about.
Yes, my hair is black/brown. And no, I have no intention of going back to bottle blond like everyone else in Dallas. (no offense to my fabulously bottle blond friends)
I'm comfortable with me and I'm looking forward to the day when I can torment my own daughter.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Road trips, the Apocalypse, and Friendships
If you felt the Earth below your feet rumble at 9:00am on Saturday, you probably felt it was the end of the world. Well, the bad news is it probably is. The good news is it's because Bucky graduated on Saturday from Texas A&M….after 9 heroic years of keg parties, missed finals, and Q drops he has a diploma. True, he almost slept through graduation. But he found a woman who keeps him in line, out of jail (mostly), and puts up with our group. Randa is a special (or crazy) girl for that.
This weekend was a blast. I've never driven the actual speed limit from Dallas to College Station. This time, I decided to take it slow and let the drive really sink in. I took my usual route down (I45 to 14 to Hwy6), stopped off at my favorite antique shops, and the half way point gas station. It really was a great drive. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and it gave me sometime to think out loud with out all the hassle of people giving me funny looks.
This trip got me thinking about temporary friendships and lifelong friends. I met all of these guys in '98 at Fish Camp. I was going off to A&M excited, but a little scared to start new. Then I met Scotty and Vrooman. Even after Fish Camp they kept me under their wing and are still looking out for me.
Now at age 27, I've lost track of a lot of friends. But I have a few close girlfriends that I cherish. They are my "Sex in the City" friends. We're young, successful, fun, and of course fabulous.
But outside of those girls, I've become so accustomed to fickle friends, work friends, seasonal friends, regional friends. It made me really thankful to have a group of great friends with me for one weekend.
So thanks for the weekend guys. I hope to see you again soon!
"A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be." ~Douglas Pagels
This weekend was a blast. I've never driven the actual speed limit from Dallas to College Station. This time, I decided to take it slow and let the drive really sink in. I took my usual route down (I45 to 14 to Hwy6), stopped off at my favorite antique shops, and the half way point gas station. It really was a great drive. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and it gave me sometime to think out loud with out all the hassle of people giving me funny looks.
This trip got me thinking about temporary friendships and lifelong friends. I met all of these guys in '98 at Fish Camp. I was going off to A&M excited, but a little scared to start new. Then I met Scotty and Vrooman. Even after Fish Camp they kept me under their wing and are still looking out for me.
Now at age 27, I've lost track of a lot of friends. But I have a few close girlfriends that I cherish. They are my "Sex in the City" friends. We're young, successful, fun, and of course fabulous.
But outside of those girls, I've become so accustomed to fickle friends, work friends, seasonal friends, regional friends. It made me really thankful to have a group of great friends with me for one weekend.
So thanks for the weekend guys. I hope to see you again soon!
"A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be." ~Douglas Pagels
Monday, March 12, 2007
This is why I love John Cleese
A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to govern yourselves properly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately; Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following Rules are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary)
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize'. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
6. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metriccation will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) -- roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as Beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
John Cleese
In light of your failure to govern yourselves properly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately; Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following Rules are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary)
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize'. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
6. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metriccation will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) -- roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as Beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
John Cleese
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