The Friend Rule

The Friend Rule
I think it's safe to say that I run with a pretty sarcastic crowd with a good sense of humor. We can laugh at ourselves and can admit when we've done something moronic or embarrassing.

But what we don't do it make fun of each other. There are plenty of people in the world to judge and praise ourselves for being better/funnier/smarter than. Even if we may not be, it's easier to look at a friend and say "You're so much prettier than her." The other girl can go on thinking she's fabulous and you've just boosted a friend's ego. No harm done.

I was hanging out with Stephanie's new boyfriend recently and as the conversation went on I kept getting closer to strangling him. I couldn't explain it – he was nice enough and she likes him. But then it hit me – he was teasing me and being a jerk to Stephanie. He thought he was hilarious - I did not. There were plenty of other people to make fun of and he picked his new friends. Not ok.

Maybe he didn't know the Friend Rule.

But then I got together with an old friend last week. We hadn't been hanging out for a while and I couldn't really remember why. Until he started off picking on friends. And his specialty is not just teasing friends. He's mastered the art of picking out specific weaknesses, bringing them to the spotlight, and making fun in front of everyone….even when no one is laughing and I'm beyond pissed. Ah yes, that's why we don't hang out anymore.

I just don't understand. Friends are supposed to be there to support you and tell you how fabulous you are - not make you feel self conscious. To actually look someone in the eye and tease them for their hobbies, a recent break up, their hair, the phone they have, the car they drive, etc. It's personal and no one feels good.

So here's to my friends! I will always tell you how fabulous you look, how smart you are, and how special you are to me. Because it's true and that's what friends do.