I'm an adult...but forever a kid in my hometown

I’m adult, I have a grown up job, a grown up apartment, and “big girl” bills to prove it.

Everyone once in a while I have to remind myself of that because of run-ins like the one I had this weekend.

I was visiting my parents in the town I grew up in on Sunday. I had planned to run some local errands, get my nails done, and make dinner for the folks. All very grown up stuff.

Ahem…anyway.

I walked in to the nail salon and saw one of my 6th grade teachers. Ms. McLaughlin. I immediately became 11 years old. I smoothed down my unruly hair, took my hands out of my pockets, stood up straight, and timidly asked one of the workers for a manicure.

I took my seat, every once in a while sneaking a glance at Mc. McLaughlin. Did she see me? Wait, she smiled?, oh, eyes front.

I pretended to act like a “big girl” and made a conscious effort to not swing my legs in the chair.

(gasp) Here’s my chance! She was getting up to leave and had to walk by me.

Apparently I was just creepy enough throughout the last half hour by looking over at her, waiting for her to recognize me, that she stopped by my chair.

In a tiny voice I said, “Ms. McLaughlin?” (You never know, she could be divorced by now) “I was your student at Story Elementary.”

“Hi,” she said in a teacher sweet voice. “Remind me of your name?”

“M-M-Mary Beth Knight.”

She swore she remembered, asked how old I was now, made a comment about her own age, asked what college I went to and where I was living/working. I think I managed to stutter something about working close to downtown in Human Resources. She told me to pass along her greeting to my folks.

“Yes ma’am,” I nodded as if I were sent home with a note from the teacher.

Seriously? Ugh.

I wanted to chase after her and tell her, “I’m an adult! I have a grown up job! A grown up apartment!”

But instead I sat in the nail salon chair, feet swinging, smiling big because she remembered me.

Open letter to a young HR professional

Get out. Get out now.

Get out of the HR world for a while. Go run a function, manage a line, balance a P&L.

Got your degree in HR? Then you really need to go.

Getting an HR degree? Think about changing your major. Non-HR degrees enter HR all the time. Very few HR degrees go elsewhere. And take some statistics classes while you’re at it. They are more important for the future of HR than you might think.

Don’t be a career HR drone. Go see the world. Deal with the issues first hand. Understand business, leadership, employee problems, and what happens when people don’t play nicely with each other.

Then come back. We’ll need you.
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I wish I could take credit, but a networking buddy posted this and I really like it. For those of you who know me, this absolutely describes my career path.

Today I voted...and I have the sticker to prove it

I'm one of the voters the news warns about. I didn't know for certain who I wanted to vote for until the night before. I was sick of the whole mess. Media coverage, campaigning for funds, scandals, name calling, etc.

How to choose? Flip a coin? Throw a piece of red gum and blue gum against a wall and see which one sticks?

No, like a good American, I did my research on the issues that were important to me. I'd say the War in Iraq is an issue for me, but was surprisingly not something that tipped the scales. I focused on the issues that I could wrap my head around - immigration, gun control, taxes, economic stimulus, the environment, etc.

Polling opens at 7am (and I'm insane) so I decided to get there at 6:30 to beat the crowds. Boy was I ever glad I did! As I walked up to the line of about 12 that had already formed, I had 5-10 people on my heels. By 7am, the line was wrapped around the building. Yet once inside, they were so organized it took 15 minutes. Amazing! Just 45 minutes total to cast my vote in this big mess.

So all in all, I feel good about my choice. I feel even better that I exercised my right to vote...

...and got a sticker on the way out. That's really what it's all about.

Pam Prank 2008

I am coming up on my first 90 days with my new company, Freeman. Since I joined the team I have met some incredible people and one of those people is my coworker Tommy. See below.



Tommy and I share a sick and childish sense of humor. The image above is a mug I gave him that references one of our favorite TV shows, The Office. If you are familiar with The Office you know the characters Jim and Dwight. Jim likes to play pranks on Dwight. Putting his stapler in a Jell-o mold, moving his desk to the bathroom, convincing him the CIA is recruiting him, etc.

Well, Tommy and I were a little bored on a Friday afternoon. Our boss, Pam, was out of the office until the following Thursday so we decided to play a prank on her. After going through all the possible scenarios and copy cat pranks from The Office, he decided to do this:



Oh sure to the naked eye it’s just a keyboard. But look closely. He rearranged the keys to spell out “You Stink” and we left for the weekend.

Cut to the following week. I’m out of the office all week for an HR conference so Tommy sends me an update:

OK, thought you might like an update on the “Pam prank of 2008”. Remember how I rearranged the keys on her keyboard? Well, she came back yesterday to the office but didn’t get in until after 9 am. I had back-to-back meetings from 9 to 2 pm so I didn’t even see her come in. Evidently she docked her computer and tried to log into her computer using the keyboard, she was looking at the keys and thought she was typing it correctly but (of course) due to my GENIUS it kept registering “wrong password”. Well, she did it three times and got locked out of the system.

She called helpdesk and had them work on her “problem”. Was on the phone with them for over an hour, finally got them to get her into her computer and she tried to send an email to create a ticket on the problem and as she typed it was all garbled. She was still on the phone with helpdesk and neither helpdesk or Pam could understand what the problem was. They finally just said gave up and placed an order for a new keyboard. She went to borrow a keyboard and when she brought it in she noticed that the keys didn’t match. Then all of a sudden she realized she realized hers were messed up – then she screamed, “Tommy did this!!”

When I got back from my meeting she told me the story and I was crying I was laughing so hard. And best of all, this happened on Bosses Day!!!!

Changing the keys on your bosses keyboard – $0

Confusing helpdesk technicians - $0

Making a VP think she’s going insane - $0

Having it all happen on Bosses Day – Priceless…

Love like the movies

There are a lot of things in life that give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Lazy, rainy days, watching a sappy movie in bed is one of my all time favorites. There’s nothing like the rain on the window, my freakishly chilly apartment, piles of pillows and covers, while watching someone else live out a great love story.

You know the type of movie I’m talking about. When they spot each other from across the room, instantly fall in love, music plays, and the scene closes on a classic lip lock.

Surely I’m not the only woman who has been looking for a romance like the movies. Where reason melts away with a kiss and he whisks her off to a perfect life together.

What the movies never show you are the moments after the big kiss.

Gasp!

I’ve discovered I have an unrealistic image of true love. That’s right folks…hard to believe that someone so in tune with her emotions (ha!) may not quite know how to fall in love…and stay there.

The great romantic movies don’t dare ruin the film by showing the first fight, the awkward transition from single life to coupledom/marriage, lost friends along the way, and the first time she comes home from a shopping spree.

And that is exactly why I love those movies! Carefree, easy, lighthearted, and effortless.

But I have to remember that great REAL loves like my parents didn’t get to 35+ years of marriage by a single big kiss. They make it look easy, but have been working on an epic movie that has had its twists and turns, heartaches and heart attacks, laughs and tears, deaths and new life.

As I am beginning a love story of my own, I hope I can take queues from my parents.

Celebrating my late 20s

My mom has been teasing me since I turned 25 that I was in my late 20s. I refused to admit that, had a mid-twenties crisis, quit the corporate world, moved to California, and took a job in a retail store.

Totally rational as always.

But on Oct. 18 I will finally be forced to admit that I'm in my late 20s....mostly because I can't get much later than 29. Whatever.

So to give my late 20s a proper kick off, we're hitting the town. I have given all control over to Stephanie, party planner extraordinaire. If you can join us for dinner, let me know and I'll send you the details. If you want to just meet us out, hang tight while we make arrangements.

Eh, Screw Forgiveness

In early August I wrote about forgiveness. I absolutely meant it. We are only human and we all make mistakes. However, some are more devastating than others.

Which brings me to the blog title.

Without revealing names, a person very close to me found out that her husband had an affair earlier this year. After a series of events, including forgiveness, lies, a continued affair, separation, emotional roller coaster, the husband (whom I now affectionately call "F*ckhead") has chosen the homewrecker. Now my friend has signed a lease for an apartment a thousand miles away from him.

Divorce is a reality for today. But what about tomorrow?

She's a fabulous woman – smart, beautiful, patient, and loving. She'll find a new life for herself that will soar above the years she spent with F*ckhead. But they aren't in this alone. They have a child together.

I had friends growing up that split time with their parents. It seemed to work, but they were typically in the same state at least. It seems so foreign to me that their little child is going to grow up this way. Not to mention the slim chance F*ckhead and Homewrecker will actually last. So how's that for a male role model.

The only thing that helps me see the silver lining on this is that my friend will come out of this better than he will. She has a support system that will help her cope through the ugliness of this situation. She has her family, her friends, her friends' friends, etc. What does he have?

So this is me officially removing the window of opportunity for F*ckhead to ask for forgiveness. If he doesn't want it, we'll do just fine without him in our lives.