Ok, there are songs that touch your heart and all that mushy crap from my last blog. But there are also songs that just make you laugh out loud. Some are good and some just don't make sense!
Here are some of the ones I could think of. Please add your favorites:
Which came first, The chicken or the egg?
I egged the chicken then I ate its leg.
-Beastie Boys, "Egg Man"
I think we're goin' crazy
Her left eye is lazy
She looks so Israeli
Nicotine and gravy
-Beck, "Nicotine and Gravy"
Your white tee, well, to me looks like a nightgown
Make ya mama proud take that thing two sizes down
Then you look like the man that you are or what you could be
-Andre 3000, "Walk It Out (Remix)"
…watch me make your face beat up my hands
-Dem Franchise Boys, "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It"
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.
-LFO, "Summer Girls"
Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hilary Rodham.
-Ali G, "Grillz"
Open up my mouth and you see mo carrots than a salad
My teeth are mind blowin givin everybody chillz
Call me George Foreman cuz I'm sellin everybody grillz
-Paul Wall, "Grillz"
When I started pushing 30, it started pushin back.
-Gary Allan, "Feelin' Like That"
Get sick,
get well
Hang around a ink well
-Bob Dylan, "Subterranean Homesick Blues"
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
GOO GOO GA JOOB
-The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Music that makes me smile
Have you ever heard a song that gets under your skin and moves your soul? Everyone should have at least one song or album that is like comfort food. I made a list to share. Please share your favorites with me!
1. The Rocket Summer - Hello, Good Friend
Hanna introduced me to this band and I fell in love. Every song on the album is absolute perfection. Fun, deep, Christian themes, and just good clean fun.
2. Jack's Mannequin - Everything in Transit
Yes, it's the guy from Something Corporate and he's great! Dark Blue holds a special place in my heart and I will always remember the KY crew when I hear it. Into the Airwaves, The Mixed Tape, and Rescued have taken on new meaning over the past few months. Check them out.
3. Bob Schneider - Lonelyland and I'm Good Now
Both are fabulous albums. Not only is he an amazing singer/songwriter, he's from Texas!! Besides, Bob is the kind of guy you'd just want to grab a beer with.
4. Garden State Soundtrack
Robyn can attest to this--I can listen to this over and over and not get tired of it. Each song was carefully selected by Zach Braff and takes you on a powerful journey.
5. The Last Kiss Soundtrack
Basically the follow up to the Garden State Soundtrack. The original is always a little better, but this still can make me cry and smile in the same song.
6. Blue October - Foiled
In to the Ocean is one of those songs I can't help but sing along. Plus, they're from Texas!
7. Paul Oakenfold - Transport
Back in my rave kid stage, this was my favorite album. I still remember watching Daryell, Evan, Chris, and the guys dancing to this.
8. Blink - 182
Always is probably one of my favorite songs ever. I can listen to on repeat and the video is really cool too.
9. Jimmy Eat World - Futures
I really only like 23 & Drugs or Me from this album. Those two songs are incredible depressing, but are so powerful especially if they are played very loud. :)
10. Lifehouse - Any Album
These guys are truly amazing. Every song seeps in to you and touches you.
11. Honeybrowne
More Texas boys! Texas Angel is really the only song people know by them. Probably for a good reason. But Texas Angel is a song that takes me back to my relationship with Varner. As crazy as we were, that song makes me think of him and smile.
12. Toad the Wet Sprocket - Dulcinea
Something's Always Wrong is amazing. Back in the day, Blockbuster used to rent out videos from MTV. This was one of the first videos I ever saw and the song is still one of my favorites of all time.
13. Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Disarm is another one of those songs I still love after 14 years. This is the song that made me want to learn how to play the guitar. It's amazing!
14. Teitur - Poetry & Aeroplanes
Zac introduced me to this guy. I listen to it non stop at work. He is so good! Amanda's Dream, Josephine, and Poetry & Aeroplanes and everything else on the album are such beautiful songs.
1. The Rocket Summer - Hello, Good Friend
Hanna introduced me to this band and I fell in love. Every song on the album is absolute perfection. Fun, deep, Christian themes, and just good clean fun.
2. Jack's Mannequin - Everything in Transit
Yes, it's the guy from Something Corporate and he's great! Dark Blue holds a special place in my heart and I will always remember the KY crew when I hear it. Into the Airwaves, The Mixed Tape, and Rescued have taken on new meaning over the past few months. Check them out.
3. Bob Schneider - Lonelyland and I'm Good Now
Both are fabulous albums. Not only is he an amazing singer/songwriter, he's from Texas!! Besides, Bob is the kind of guy you'd just want to grab a beer with.
4. Garden State Soundtrack
Robyn can attest to this--I can listen to this over and over and not get tired of it. Each song was carefully selected by Zach Braff and takes you on a powerful journey.
5. The Last Kiss Soundtrack
Basically the follow up to the Garden State Soundtrack. The original is always a little better, but this still can make me cry and smile in the same song.
6. Blue October - Foiled
In to the Ocean is one of those songs I can't help but sing along. Plus, they're from Texas!
7. Paul Oakenfold - Transport
Back in my rave kid stage, this was my favorite album. I still remember watching Daryell, Evan, Chris, and the guys dancing to this.
8. Blink - 182
Always is probably one of my favorite songs ever. I can listen to on repeat and the video is really cool too.
9. Jimmy Eat World - Futures
I really only like 23 & Drugs or Me from this album. Those two songs are incredible depressing, but are so powerful especially if they are played very loud. :)
10. Lifehouse - Any Album
These guys are truly amazing. Every song seeps in to you and touches you.
11. Honeybrowne
More Texas boys! Texas Angel is really the only song people know by them. Probably for a good reason. But Texas Angel is a song that takes me back to my relationship with Varner. As crazy as we were, that song makes me think of him and smile.
12. Toad the Wet Sprocket - Dulcinea
Something's Always Wrong is amazing. Back in the day, Blockbuster used to rent out videos from MTV. This was one of the first videos I ever saw and the song is still one of my favorites of all time.
13. Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Disarm is another one of those songs I still love after 14 years. This is the song that made me want to learn how to play the guitar. It's amazing!
14. Teitur - Poetry & Aeroplanes
Zac introduced me to this guy. I listen to it non stop at work. He is so good! Amanda's Dream, Josephine, and Poetry & Aeroplanes and everything else on the album are such beautiful songs.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
A week at the Gym
A WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular
workout routine.
Dear Diary:
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week
of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am
still in great shape since playing on my High School football team 25
yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a
try.
Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named
Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and
model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with
my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well
worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for
me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing
eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!
Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse
after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so
fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics
outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her
aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air,
and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it
all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer or stop.
I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient
with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her
voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she
scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the
stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help
me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being
a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes.
Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I
ran and hid in the men's room.
She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing
machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any
other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic
little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And
if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#@^&**!!
barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach
or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly
voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me
want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the
strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my
wife (the bitch); will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root
canal or a vasectomy.
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular
workout routine.
Dear Diary:
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week
of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am
still in great shape since playing on my High School football team 25
yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a
try.
Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named
Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and
model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with
my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well
worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for
me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing
eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!
Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse
after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so
fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics
outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her
aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air,
and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it
all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer or stop.
I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient
with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her
voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she
scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the
stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help
me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being
a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes.
Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I
ran and hid in the men's room.
She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing
machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any
other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic
little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And
if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#@^&**!!
barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach
or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly
voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me
want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the
strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my
wife (the bitch); will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root
canal or a vasectomy.
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