Back in Texas and already talkin' funny

My dad and I arrived yesterday and the moment I stepped (fell) out of the U-haul, I took a deep breath of hot, fresh, Southern air. It's never been sweeter. We stopped for a BBQ lunch--I'm not a huge fan, but it seemed like the right thing to do. At lunch I heard genuine country gibberish that you only hear from the guy from King of the Hill. (Boomhower or something?).

Along the way, my dad and I had a good time. The cigarette lighters went out so we coldn't power his IPod speakers after only 6 hours of driving. Radio stations from CA to TX as few and far between and mostly Tejano. Since I only speak restaurant kitchen Spanish, that was no good. But we had lots to talk about and here and there we'd get a wireless signal, so we'd IM my mom and sister. I drove almost the entire trip.

So today my mom and I are having a girls day, tonight I have happy hour with my friends, tomorrow I get ready to head out bright and early Fri. I should get into KY by Sat night.

Cross your fingers the truck makes it....

Translation of my brother in law's job in Iraq

My brother in law is quite possibly the funniest human being on the planet. Ph.D in History, MA. History, etc. He's a genius and the youngest professor at Virginia Military Institute. He's now serving in Iraq, and gave us some insight as to what he's been doing.

SGT Wineman, BA

Duties, Responsibilities, Accomplishments



Maintenance Management (MIMMS) - 0411



-Maintain maintenance records for all B and D TAMs

-daily reconciliation with MT chief on all parts bins and EROs

-weekly reconciliation with RCT MMO on MARES items and LM-2

-work w/ section heads on maintaining PEB on lot

-maintain past maintenance documentation for all serialized gear

-conduct PME for mechanic/operators on maintenance documentation

-track all WIR gear from 2nd echelon to disposition to replacement





Translation

-Get the parts of everything thats broke

-Get gear that we cant fix to people who can

-Let the CO know what the hell is going on with the vehicles

-Keep regiment off our asses about crap that doesnt work

-Keep Forbes from jumping off a building

-write all the order forms for all the mechs who have forgotten how to do it (in truth, I usually do it for them since they are genuinely busy and its one less thing for them to worry about but its technically their responsibility)

-Track all the bad gear we throw away

-Make sure everything goddamn works vehicles, HE gear, NVGs, weapons, mine detectors, radios, tool kits, demo kits, computers, etc

-stock up on extra crap for PMs and minor repair work

-make brand new record jackets for all the gear since 2nd CEB screwed by not leaving any goddamn paperwork/documentation

-*had to learn all of this shit over here OJT, this aint my MOS; had to learn it from the idiot 2nd CEB guy who had to learn it over here in theatre, too;





Supply Admin 3043



-keypunch all supply/MMO transactions on both MIMMS and SASSY (supply) 4/A, 4/C, and Z01 to order all supplies/parts requested by company

-track all orders on DASF (Due-In and Status File)

-reconcile DASF with DPR daily

-receipt for all inbound items in MIMMS and SASSY 8/1, D6T

-maintain paperwork for all WIRs

-coordinate transfer of gear between various CMRs in RCT-2

-review DTL (Daily Transaction Listing) for edit errors/unmatched NSNs







Translation

-order all the shit

-keep track of the shit on order

-if shit disappears in the process, find out where shit went

-pick shit up when it comes in

-receipt for the shit

-get shit to who needs it on lot/in shops

-get shit to the other platoons and to the FOBs





Supply Warehousing 3051

-issue and maintain records for all gear before deployment

-keep visibility/storage of all C/K Tams on CMR

-upkeep of non-CMR inventory in make-shift warehouse on lot

-upkeep of all Class I items for daily work/mission (chow/water)

-replacing all combat loss items of 782 gear of line platoons

-providing necessary gear to company gunny for missions

-serving with Gunny as ad-hoc Armorer

-transport gear to CLB-2 for convoys

-move all parts/gear from supply/TMO to lot for inventory





Translation

-issue all the shit out

-replace shit that Marines lose/break/eat

-chow-fetcher

-store and keep count of all the shit

-fill in blank when Gunny bellows, Sgt Wineman, I need.

-keep Marines from going naked, hungry and bullet-less





Watch NCO

-maintain daytime/watch in the COC

-conduct paperwork for embarkation of gear/personnel to FOBs in AO

-coordinate w/ HE/UT sections for Engineering requests

-represent CEB at COC briefings during duty

-assist Mail NCO with mail pick-up distribution to FOBs

-communicate messages from SWO or other COC personnel to CEB staff





Translation

-Watch NCO part phone-watch/part crisis management

-serve as a body in the COC to get shit done

-do the mainside runs

-unfuck Whitings mistakes w/ morning reports/LTOs/Wolf mail



Training NCO

-mostly done at Camp Lejeune during work-up

-maintaining all training rosters

-conduct last minute PFTs before deployment

-coordinating with line platoons on training progress

-working with platoon sgt on admin, supply, medical issues

-work with company gunny on logistics of all training activities

-keep records/attendance rosters of all training classes





Translation

-keep track of all the crazy rosters of various color and composition for the CO/S-3

-rosters, rosters, rosters

-occasional wire diagram

-more rosters





Collateral Duties

-Assistant SACO

-Guidon bearer

-Platoon Guide?

-occasional Arabic translator

-driver/gunner

-student in CEB MT/HE School of Diesel Engine for Dummies course

-Platoon satirist

-Company Know-It-All

From beaches to mullets in 2 months

So in May I made the big move from Texas to Cali to train for a totally different job. 2 months later I got word that I was ready for promotion, they just didn't know where. Several options were offered, but they just didn't seem right.

Well...now I know where. Kids I'm off to Kentucky! We're opening a new Fossil apparel store out there and I'm the lucky gal who gets to open it. YAY!

Kentucky is a beautiful state--lots of trees, horses, fresh air, small towns, down to earth people, affordable rent, little crime, and no LA traffic. My kinda place! check it out http://www.visitlex.com

My tentative last day in LA will be Sept 20. Then it's off to TX to see fam/friends, then on to my new home...until next promotion. ;)

I'll keep ya posted,

MB

25 going on 13

I went to the Rite Aid down the street from me just to get mascara and deoderant. In wandering around (easily distracted) I found the section with Wet N' Wild products. Anyone remember these?

It took me back to all the slumber parties I had as a kid where we'd break into mom's make up, or if one of us got lucky enough to get mom's old stuff, we'd fill our Caboodles full and go to town. Not sure why, but make overs were so much fun! Gobs of lipstick, layers of eyeshadow, and hot pink blush--we'd look like girls from Moulin Rouge. It probably explains why I'm strictly a chapstick and mascara kind of gal now.

I couldn't help it...I bought glitter nail polish, eyeliner, and sparkle lip gloss. Let the slumber party begin.

Bomb Threat--What do you do?

Clearly the answer for most shoppers on the Promenade is to gawk at the store and take pictures with the cops.

Today one of the stores on the Promenade found a large suspicious package. Cops were called, bomb squad was brought in, helicopters flying everywhere....we (4 doors down) were told last. Nice. As soon as we heard, we packed up our stuff and got the heck out of the store and Santa Monica.

As we were leaving, we saw stupid people everywhere!! People were arguing with cops because they couldn't shop in the section blocked off with "CAUTION" tape, people were standing/sitting around watching the store as if they were waiting to see the bomb go off, and some were actually taking pictures with cops. It's not a Hollywood set!! When someone says "Bomb," you get your stuff and you go!

Sometimes this place scares me.

My day at the beach

So today I went to the beach for the first time since I've moved here. Shameful I know.

Sharon asked me if I needed sunblock, and even checked that I had at least put some on my face. I shrugged it off saying, "Oh yea, it's in my moisturizer."

We spent an hour or so enjoying the sound of the waves, I took a nap, she read. All very nice. On the way home I looked in the mirror and noticed my nose was a little pink. Checked again when we got home. Nose and forehead were pink, shoulders felt hot.

After a shower, checked again. Um, yea, I'm a friggin lobster. Oh, and I don't have bathing suit lines. I have lines from wearing my wife beater at lunch pre sun bathing. Nice.

I love being white trash.

I love being white trash

So I swear my landlady must think I'm a poor country bumpkin from Texas who would leave my trailer parked in the street if I could find a spot. Without fail every time she comes to check out the place, I'm in boxers and a t-shirt, no make up, hair a mess. She's an older lady too--not the cool grandma who bakes you cookies and pot pie. She's the LA grandma who gets Botox, tans, and tells you to stand up straight and why are you wearing your hair like that? The first time I met her she forgave me for not wearing shoes to the door. How sweet.

Today she came by and of course headed straight for our apt, not the other 6 in the building. So after an inspiring weekend, I've been painting since I got home from church this morning. I greet her in a wife beater, old football shorts, hair in a messy ponytail, paint all over me.

All that was missing was a toothless grin and a beer in hand. Luckily I had country music playing(Pat Green to be exact).

I wonder when I'll get that eviction notice....